Dear Cancer Cells

Dear Cancer Cells in My Body,

How dare you try to take over my body. I am pissed off about your sneaky attack on my turf and I declare war against you little fuckers. You are going down. You have no right to this terrain and while you may have had a good run in the past, I am through with sitting idle and letting you use my body as an adventure land map. You are no longer welcome and I suggest you find digs elsewhere because I have begun my campaign to knock you worthless cells into oblivion...and I intend to see my war campaign through. Let me summarize my plan, so you have no doubt about my serious intentions to obligate your existence on MY body.

First of all, I have enacted chemical warfare on your asses. My body and mind are strong and can handle a little toxic warfare, but how do you feel about chemo aimed in your direction? I can see the beads of sweat building on your upper lip. But chemicals are only Phase One of my plan. I no longer have the same fear of them that you should...they are on my side and are helping to work against you and your sneaky plans of demise. I won't tolerate your shifty rebellion in my land.

I have also begun to amass my troops, and it is a number far larger than either you or I could ever have conceived. My friends and family have rallied and are working against you constantly. I have heard from people that I haven't been in touch with in multitudes of years, but they send me tidings of strength and support from afar. I only have to say the word and everyone will jump into action to fight you to your death. My doctors and nurses are the best in their fields and have years of kicking ass against cancer cells. They have an attitude of no holds barred, encouraged by my own attitude of war against you. They have promised me a relentless war until you have tucked tail and ran. I have also rallied naturopaths, psychologists, and mentors who have been down this path in battles against you, and they too agree that my strength surpasses your own in exceeding amounts. They too will fight beside me.

You have underestimated my strength. I have had moments of uncertainty and fear, but I have never doubted for a second that I wouldn't fight back in all ways that I could. I have had to make choices about strategy, but now I know that I will never stop coming after you and I am on constant alert to watch the borders of my body so that you will never return. I plan to starve you out of my system. You have fed on my weakness for foods for far too long and I now declare an end. I will now focus on fruits, vegetables, and whole grains that have reputations for bold warfare action against you. You will no longer find a friendly feeding environment here. In fact, you will find that every taste you take, tastes of antioxidants and and cancer-fighting nutrients - all the things that good science show you fear.

You have had your run, but it is now over. You have been served notice to evacuate these premises immediately. I will not tolerate loitering of any kind and promise you that I am coming after you full-strength. Do not underestimate my determination and strength. I WILL kick your ass to the curb. You are now evicted from MY body. You are never allowed to return. Be gone.

In all sincerity,
Rachael

PS - My God, it feels good to be in control again. Ah, home, sweet home. ;)