Changes

Here we are a few days after chemo and thought I'd do a brief update. Decided to update the hair style per my last post and tried out a Winlock girl, Michelle, who rocked it. She created a faux hawk style with red and copper for coloring. It's very bright in the sun! :) I'm digging it so far but it's very interesting to see the reactions of the commoners - not quite as much polite chitchat at the stores and what not. I feel like everyones watching me to see if I'm going to steal something wherever we are. It's semi-humorous but a little angering too. It definitely stands out more in the little town of Winlock than say in Portland.

I have been feeling pretty good after chemo. I sometimes think it would be nice to have a little sign to post around my neck that says "I've just been through chemo this week, be nice to me." I just would appreciate a little more understanding from the average unknowing person about why I'm moving a little slower or that a little extra kindnessy to everyone is an OK thing. I mean hell, I don't want like first of line privileges, but a little common decency and and some understanding would be great. And thats why I need the sign.

I continue to be a little fatigued and I can't sleep well due to the hot flashes. That part is taking a bit of a toll in my everyday interactions, where I can't muster up my normal friendliness. I'm just a little grouchy, dammit! But otherwise, the chemo was not nearly as scary as I thought it would be. The fact that they give you so many drugs to take to counteract the side effects before you even have a sign of any side effect is a much appreciated thing. I'm sure it would/could be a lot worse if it weren't for that pre-prescribing (which makes you wonder about the word "PREscribing.) We have been given a whole new battery of pills and my medicine drawer is getting out of hand! Seriously, I probably have over 20 prescription bottles from the last few months. I'm even using one of those weekly pill boxes to keep all the crap straight. (thank god for Brian filling it for me and keeping it all straight.)

I'm now wondering what the docs will say about my returning to work. Its hard to imagine working a full 40 hour week, due to the fatigue and just the brain drain of trying to help others and stepping outside of my own issues for a while. Maybe it'll be a good thing.